Why, yes. This gong does come with a gong mallet. Thanks for asking. You can hear a demonstration of the gong being played at the bottom of the page!
Hello! Welcome to this eon's Umpteenth Gods and Near Deities Fashion Week in the diaphanous and loooove-ly halls of fierce and gorgeous Valhalla.
I’m Wassandra Shiftleton and I’m joined by Cassela Perdinkly-Pu.
Cassela, welcome back for another semi-divine procession of fashion.
“Thank you, Wassandra. It’s great for me to be here with you and all our audience.”
That’s right, you never know what’s in store when ancient beings and mythological creatures take to the stage. I’m on the edge of my seat in anticipation.
BUT FIRST! As always... the Soviet National Anthem, rocked out.
Now...what are your thoughts Cassela?
“I miss the Titans and the Teutons. But don't give me croutons, Mr. Waiter! Or a salad! I love a good human sacrifice though. Meow.”
A trenchant insight as always, Cassela. Those drugs they give your children help you so much. Sparkly lights surround your many orifices and appendages.
Wait!... It sounds like the runway music is starting. Let’s see what these all-seeing all-knowing all-feeling all-groping all-belching immortal beings have in store for us this time.
A PRAIRIE DJINN struts out in the clothing of puny blink-of-an-eye lifespan humanoids - he wears a plaid
shirt and a sporting cap with some writing on it.
The only variation to the traditional human is the shiny beard which adorns the djinn's face.
Well- as I am Wassandra I feel I should have an opinion, BUT!! - I’m not even feeling how I should feel about this first look. In fact, I don’t know if I’m really processing what I’m seeing properly. Did my bottled water come from the River Styx??? Cassela, what do you have to say about this?
“Well, Wassandra, off-hand I’d say what we’re looking at is a Prairie Djinn, a working-class wish-granting entity from the middle-western grasslands of what was called the YOU-HESS-HAY in the early 21st Century- Jesus time - you know before the mountains sank and Hades sent up the Volcano fires."
Such beauty in tragedy I might add.
"Yes, Wassandra, you do add tragedy to my beauty, womanfriend. Now, I did have a chance to speak to with prairie djinn earlier and he said he had chosen to replace his beard with a GONG.
Specifically, an 8” Ma gong because, and I quote his djinniness, ‘I wanted to have a face only a Ma Gong could love.’
And you know, gales of laughter erupted from all of my orifices when he spaketh that, girl! He added and I quote again, "this way it would be easier to tell if other gods genuinely liked me, or if they were only hanging out with me for my wishes.”
That was surprisingly informative, Cassela. I must meet your pharmacologist one of these millennia. Is there anything you wanted to add?
“Of course, the djinn wanted all the fashionistas out there to know that the Ma Gongs are widely available and he would use his powers to make sure everyone who ordered one got a complimentary mallet included.”
Ah, he is one of the more benevolent deities.
“He says he does what he can, Wassandra.”
Alright, well, that was quite an unusual start to this year’s fashion show, but I’m glad we got to see it. Stay tuned everyone, you never know what’s going to walk down the runway next. Remember last year's Cyborg Ballet?