This gong comes with a mallet.
Your smartypants-phone vibrates on your desk, scooting away from you with each vibration. You reach for it without looking up from your computer screen and silence it. Pocket it. Continue with your multi-tasking of spreadsheeting and Facebook perusing.
An hour later, you hide in a bathroom stall for a bit. If only there was a way to poop out the negative feelings you have about that VP and her motivational emails.
Then of course, there is Peggy, customer service superstar, who keeps coming to your desk to discuss the season of “Lost” that she’s currently working on, and you’re the only person for her to talk to about plot twists. Of course, you binge-watched the show years ago, when you still had a pot dealer AND a prescription to Ritalin, so you don’t really remember anything of value, but you have to be cordial, right? That’s just office etiquette.
You pull your phone out of your pocket. You see a missed call and a voicemail. Opening the voicemail, you hear nothing for 10 seconds. Thinking you may have actually missed the play button, you look back at your phone’s screen, finding instead a different screen showing the download progress of an app, called “Solar Flare.”
A few seconds pass and the app finishes downloading, opening automatically. The screen goes dark for a second, before a red circle forms toward the top of the screen.
You stare for a second, then tap the circle. Suddenly you hear an unfamiliar tone emit from your phone, seemingly louder than your speakers usually are. Soothing. Healing. Complex. You hit the button again, and the tone gets louder. You look to make sure no one is in the bathroom - and then play again. All those negative emotions about the VP start to dissolve.
Leaving the bathroom, you’re confused. Why did that app download? Why wasn’t there a callback number for the voicemail? And why did can’t you stop thinking about that sound it made? Why do feel better?
Peggy is waiting for you at your desk. “Hey, remember when they were on the island and got lost while looking for those other lost people that were looking for them?!” You do remember something about a plane crash, but your thoughts are elsewhere. Ignoring her, you pull your phone out again and open the Solar Flare app. You hit the button again and the sound plays. Peggy stops talking about the show.
“What is that? It’s gorgeous.” She stares at your phone, moon-eyed.
You play it again and Peggy sighs wistfully, then walks off. "Who cares about those weirdos on the island?" she says. "I'm going back to watching Say Yes to the Dress! and writing my affirmations again that a sexy man comes into my life to marry me."
You play the sound again for yourself as a celebration.
Later after work, you find yourself continually thinking about the mysterious app. Opening it yet again, you suddenly feel a hint of anger. What is this? Why is there no explanation? IS THIS THAT FRICKING U2 BAND GIVING ME A FREE ALBUM AGAIN?
Without thinking, you start pressing the button quickly, faster as you go along.
Huh? Someone is talking to you. You pick up your phone.
“Hey! It’s Andrew!”
“Andrew Borakove! From Gongs Unlimited!”
“Oh, uh, hey,” you say. “Did you install this app on my phone?”
“What app?” Andrew asks honestly. His radio deejay voice obviously filled with the serenity that comes from selling gongs and not being a yoga guru with the requirements of omniscient profundity that comes with that job.
“Oh, it doesn’t matter. Listen to this great gong we have, the 32” Solar Flare!”
You hear the sound, the same sound as the app, play from your phone. It makes you tear up, the pure meditative beauty of the sound.
“Great, isn’t it? I love the deep resonating tone, and delayed splash. And I know you can’t see it, but this gong is gorgeous, with distinct lathing. You’re going to love this thing. Incredible, deep, shimmery, expressive, healing! They are words I say to describe it, but it is not the actual sound!”
“How did you know I wanted this?” you ask. “And, uh, how did you get my number?”
“The Universe! I call out out to help people and the Universe sends me to you!” Andrew says. “Don't ask me how it works! I am not in charge. Have a good one!”
We’re not going to install an app on your phone, but if we do, let us know!
We can help with any gong questions, joys, or concerns, just give us a call or email.